It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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