Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
