It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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