WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i out mim tonsoeep
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