well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
