The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
