I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
