I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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