First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
