All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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