Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize