he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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