I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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