I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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