This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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