Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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