Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
