What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
