All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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