Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
