You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
