You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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