Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
