I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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