ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
