the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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