I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
