Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize