The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
