My room smells like vodka and shame
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
