Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
They are going to name an STD after you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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