I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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