Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sobbing to NWA
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
