READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
