check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
