im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
