Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
