If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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