Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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