I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
