okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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