Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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