i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
