That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
