I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
