Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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