If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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