I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
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