I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Be still, my beating vagina.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize