tell your sister to shave her snatch
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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