doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
