Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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