I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
