I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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