Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
