So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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