Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
