dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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