I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
