Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
