well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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