hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
