There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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