that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
