I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
