when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And then my night got REAL pukey
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
