I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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