we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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